hockey blog feb09

Feb 27, 2009

If you haven't done so already, today's the you're supposed to top up your RSP contribution as much as you can. Hurry hard!!

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So much for Sunday golf. Tiger lost to Tim Clark yesterday in the second round of the World Match Play event in Arizona. Oh well. We have a practice anyway.

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Apologies for the late posting today. I was with Pad at high school tryouts at 6:20a and I never really got my bearings back after that. Nothing terribly interesting happened to me in the last day or so anyway (not that it ever does.)

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The Leafs. Geez. What's up with those guys? They win their third straight game -- third straight win in a shootout,too. Third straight over a team from New York. Third straight giant step away from a decent draft pick.

Arrgghh.

On the plus side, what a night to remember for rookie Tim Stapleton, who scored the shootout winner in his first NHL game.

Read more here.

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House league peewee white playoffs start tomorrow. Are we excited? Are we excited? Are we excited???

Yes. I think we are. Either that or too much coffee.

Pad and the minor midget AA Rangers open the Tri County semi finals tomorrow night at home against Ancaster, the only league team they didn't beat this year. Hmmmmm. Go Rangers.

Both guys practice tonight.

Until then, I'm watching the temperature plummet -- it was 10 degrees this morning when I took Pad to high school hockey. It's -1 now.

Bundle up, folks. It's going to be cold.

Feb 26, 2009

My boyfriend's back and you're gonna be in trouble

(Hey-la, hey-la, my boyfriend's back)

When you see him comin', better cut out on the double

(Hey-la, hey-la, my boyfriend's back)

MY BOYFRIEND'S BACK (Robert Feldman / Gerald Goldstein / Richard Gottehrer)

No, it wasn't that 60's girly group The Angels singing their hit yesterday, it was PGA Tour commissioner Tim Finchem, skipping down a desert fairway and gleefully clicking his heels together because indeed, his boyfriend is back.

Tiger Woods, the one-man, walkin', talkin' Nike-spitting golf stimulus package returned to competitive golf yesterday and much to the relief of Finchem, sponsors, network executives and anyone else who cashes a cheque related to golf, he was kickin' ass and taking names.

Tiger Woods, as I said recently, makes it safe to turn on the TV again on Sunday afternoon. Time will tell whether he's going to be as good over the next decade as he was over the last. He has the pleasant distractions of marriage and fatherhood vying for his time. He has more money than almost any athlete on Earth. He has a gimpy left leg.

But he also has a quality that transcends mere athletics. He is driven to compete and succeed. Winning the US Open with a ruptured ACL and fractured leg was a good demonstration of the gap between him and the rest of the planet.

I have a friend who has covered several Olympic Games and she has a theory that the greatest Olympic champions are actually aliens from another world. Their physiques, their athleticism, their focus, their drive, their raw ability is so far beyond normal it is other worldly.

If she's right, whatever ship those people came her on, Tiger was with them.

Read more here.

- - -

The Leafs won again last night and it's turning into a bit of a problem. They are going to miss the playoffs, that is certain.

But while the head office folk are very good at counting money and shaking nickels out of boys' and girls' pockets for over-priced Leaf junk, they are less adept at the math required to get a good draft pick.

They need to start losing, and they need to start now. Tonight. In Long Island to yes, the worst team in hockey.

As the submariner captain yelled in Run Silent Run Deep: Dive! Dive! Dive!

Read more about the Leafs beating the Rangers again, here.

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Speaking of the Rangers, there was a fair amount of head scratching around the NHL this week when New York fired their head coach, Tom Renney. In short, folks are wondering what Glen Sather has done lately (as in, over the last nine years in Manhattan) to hold onto his job.

A performance review is not pretty. Maybe Sather is like that goalie guy in the casino ad on TV who skates out on the ice after being named the game's first star and horseshoes start falling out of his butt.

Read an assessment of Sather's New York performance here.

- - -

Last week, the newspapers were filled with the horrible story of a 200-pound chimp in Stamford, CT., that was kept as a pet for years before it snapped one day and mauled a friend of its owner.

The New York Times has a feature today on people who keep primates as pets. And they don't even skate. What's the point?

Weird.

The story is here.

- - -

I left my Blackberry in the car this morning. So I'm feeling a little naked and under-informed today.

Be patient.

Feb 25, 2009

I suppose the point can be made that it wasn't really a fair fight.

Ticketmaster has turtled completely to the will of the state of New Jersey following native son Bruce Springsteen's complaint that the company was guilty of gouging customers with unethical retailing practices in selling The Boss's concert tickets.

As the New York Times said, that's why they call him The Boss. (It's not actually. They call him The Boss because back in the days when his band still played in bars, he was the one who handed out the dough to the band members. But, I get the Times' point.)

Ticketmaster, I'm sure, hopes this is the end of this sordid little tale of how they jackhammer at the wallets of people to enrich themselves. I'm guessing it's just the beginning of many fights.

Two suits in Ontario will continue to press forward, with all the attendant good publicity the walking-dead at Ticketmaster so richly deserve. You can read about that here.

Plus, some of their executives had to appear on Capitol Hill in Washington on Tuesday to, as Desi Arnaz might have said, do some 'splainin'. You can read about that here.

And if you want to read an editorial on The Boss vs. Ticketmaster, click here.

- - -

Which brings me to the Toronto Maple Leafs, the foundation of the NHL's Eastern Conference. I refer to them this way because they now cruise toward a 4th straight season of missing the playoffs, and basements are part of the foundation of any structure, and the Leafs are a core element of the NHL basement.

So anyway, Canada is hurting and southern Ontario is hurting as much or more than most parts of Canada. The country's manufacturing heartland is in shambles. The auto industry is on the verge of collapse. We're all beside ourselves about the Raptors. Unemployment is rising. People are worried and scared.

Except the people at Maple Leaf Sports and Entertainment, who will be raising prices for Leaf tickets 3.5 per cent -- about twice the rate of inflation -- next year. Not that it matters much to ordinary folk. If we want to see an NHL game we drive to Buffalo. You can't get Leaf tickets unless you are or are on good terms with corporate seat holders. And even if you can get them, taking a family of four to a Leaf game costs the best part of a mortgage payment for most people.

And for that money you get to watch a very bad hockey team run by guys literally being paid millions of dollars to put a terrible product on the ice, soak the public for as much money as they can, and then laugh all the way to the bank.

The sooner we get a 2nd NHL franchise in southern Ontario, the better.

Read more here.

- - -

Toronto and Ontario are spending a ton of money to try and win the 2015 Pan Am Games.

Is it just me, or does this feel a lot like trying to get (another) AHL franchise for Toronto? The Pan Am games, to me, feel like a target for Halifax and Winnipeg and Edmonton.

After two failed Olympic bids, it just feels like officials in Toronto want to win something. Anything.

I hear the 2020 World Firefighter Games are up for grabs, too.

Sorry, but it makes no sense to me.

Pan Am 2015. Can you feel the excitement?

Read more here.

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One of our kids, in elementary school at the time, came home one day. We asked how his day way. He said it was fine until he had QDF -- which stands for Quality Daily Fitness, which we used to call "gym" but I'm fairly confident a roomful of education bureaucrats likely spent a month of weekends at a Muskoka resort deciding it needed to be called QDF because "gym" may be too confusing, embarrassing or non-activity inclusive enough for anyone actually named Jim.

Anyway.

The kid's complaint was that QDF consisted of yoga.

I kid you not. And not only that, yoga was pretty much the only activity that they did. Ever.

I pretty much snapped (And yes, I know it doesn't take much to make that happen. Ask Ticketmaster, or the Leafs.)

I have no complaint with yoga. But if you're a 10 or 11 year old boy aching to get out of your desk and just MOVE, well, yoga ain't gonna get the job done. And it also doesn't bring a lot to the table for most 11 year olds, who are already so flexible that they can put their hands behind their backs and still tie their shoes while still playing with the XBox.

I complained, I got a polite phone call, and was basically told I was a moron (not for the first time, nor the last.)

But I was put in mind of that episode when reading a piece in the New York Times this week on why physical activity is just as important to kids and the learning process as the three Rs.

Um, no kidding.

So, with that in mind I will point you to this story in the Times.

And this weekend, me and the boys are heading to Lululemon to try on tight stretchy pants and funky coloured tops and we're going to carry little bottles of water around the aisles of Whole Foods and complain about hockey coaches.

And we're going to look fabulous and flexible while doing it!

- - -

Leafs play the Rangers again tonight. Chris has a band concert so I'll miss the opening faceoff. Otherwise, I'll be home browsing yoga outfits and cutting letters of the alphabet out of newspaper headlines to assemble an old-school piece of hate mail to Ticketmaster.

I think I need a hobby.

Feb 24, 2009

One of the great things about minor midget rep hockey is that the early morning practice is now a part of the players' heritage. The 15 and 16-year-olds are not terribly effective at 6a or 7a (or 8a, 9a, 10a or pretty much any hour that includes the suffix a.m.) The weekday practices at 6a were particularly heinous, although preferred in my twisted world to a 6p, 7p or 8p Saturday night practice.

So with that in mind, you will imagine my joy to be sending my greetings from the Blue rink at Glen Abbey Rec Centre, at 6:30a.

High school hockey tryouts started this morning for the Abbey Park school junior team (Grades 9 and 10.)

My understanding is that the ritual of 15 and 16-year-old players walking into walls, and each other, is being played out in rinks all over Oakville this week.

And next.

And the next.

Yah!

- - -

The Leafs are proving adept at one thing this season, even if they can't win many hockey games.

And that is, getting coaches on other teams fired. Ranger coach Tom Renney became the second Eastern conference coach to get fired after a loss to the Leafs that followed a long period of under performing on the ice.

After the Leafs beat the Rangers 3-2 on Sunday night, the proverbial camel's back snapped and Tom has the rest of the season to contemplate his stamp collection and polish his Mark Messier Commemorative Statutes.

I don't like to see anyone lose a job but I guess if it's a guy making about $1 million a year who is still going to get paid to not coach for a while, I can learn to cope.

And the silver lining in all this is that the Rangers have hired John Tortorella to replace Renney, so we won't have to listen to him pontificate on TSN anymore.

Read more about the changes in Ranger-land here and here.

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There was a terrific story in the Saturday Globe and Mail that was about the Bathurst High School basketball team winning the New Brunswick championship. This is the school that lost seven players and their coach's wife a year ago in a horrific crash on a snowy highway, painfully close to the end of their journey.

At face value it is a story about a basketball team winning a championship.

But it is much, much more than that.

It is a story, perhaps without equal in recent Canadian history, of redemption, and healing and the power of sports to bring a community together.

We Are Marshall, indeed.

Just to even think about what happened in that gym at the University of New Brunswick last week is enough to give one goose flesh. I wish I could have been there.

You can read about it here.

- - -

We're not exactly what you would call high-flying investors. We save for retirement. We save for the boys' educations. We save for vacations and rainy days. We have some bank stock and energy stock and mutual funds . . . and we have a lot less of it than we had a few months ago, and every day it seems to get smaller.

The only reason I point this out is because I know a lot of people (everyone) is in some version of the same boat. And -- here's my point -- we would have been all better off spending our money over the last decade on big screen TVs, April Wine greatest hits collections, painter pants and trips to Aruba.

And that's because the stock market is now lower than it's been in a decade.

For the ordinary Joe, the last 10 years -- the years the deep-voiced guy in the bank commercials told you were key to a comfortable retirement -- have been wiped out. The Dow is actually at a 12-year low.

With this in mind, I've told the boys they can't start university until they are 28. My retirement has been delayed until 2075.

But with all that heart-warming stuff front and centre, rest assured I can find the guy who says it's going to get worse. A lot worse. As in, armed insurrections and stuff worse.

Suddenly my frosty spot in Glen Abbey doesn't seem so bad.

Read about the happy prognosticator here.

And by all means, enjoy your day!

Feb 23, 2009

Given that a weekend Hornets' tournament consumed most of the ice in town on the weekend, Chris didn't have to do his regular timekeeping chores on Sunday, which means I wasn't watching novice house league action on Sunday, which means I didn't have the usual weekend opportunity to pull myself up on a soap box here.

I'm sure they missed be in the bar at Joshua Creek ordering my large Diet Pepsi from my perch by the window.

I'll be back Sunday.

- - -

Having said that, if Chris had been supposed to time keep, he'd have missed it anyway because his game was switched to Sunday because of the same tournament. And the Gators skated to yet another tie, this one a 1-1 draw with the Hound Dogs, in the final weekend of the regular season. The result was moot to the Gators -- our fate was decided by earlier games. We were too far back to have a chance of finishing first, but far enough ahead that 2nd place was assured. So, we finish 2nd, which is a pretty good result.

Of course, the playoffs coming means it's a whole new season.

One other note from the game -- we had a minor peewee red goalie subbing for our injured regular. Dave was not only terrific in goal, I have rarely come a across a more mature, friendly, polite kid. He was amazing, introducing himself, shaking hands. Very impressive.

- - -

A weekend highlight occurred Saturday morning at Chris's peewee white practice. My wonky knee is more wonky than normal right now so I wasn't on the ice. I was chatting with a group of parents when one said, "someone's doing push ups."

We all looked over where a coach was talking to the boys, all of them but one on one knee. I was unable to see who it was. Eventually, we could tell. It was Chris.

The "give-me-10" routine is a time-honoured disciplinary measure on the ice. I was a little surprised -- but only a little -- that Chris was the target.

Afterwards, I asked him what happened.

Apparently in illustrating a teaching point, the coach asked the boys if they watch NHL hockey on TV? Yes coach! And have you seen how when the Leafs do X and Y, they do this and that.

And that's when the train came off the rails.

"I asked the coach if he really wanted us to play like the Leafs," said Chris.

And for that bit of insight, Chris got to do 10 pushups.

Brilliant, on both counts.

- - -

Older son Pad didn't lace on his blades once all weekend, which may be a first since August. The minor midget AA Rangers will face Ancaster in a Tri County semi final, starting sometime this week. They practice tonight (10p start! Wheeeeeeeeee!!!!)

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Mats Sundin proved he has a flare for the dramatic, scoring the shootout winner on Saturday night as the Canucks edged Toronto. The Leafs bounced back last night in New York, beating the Rangers in a shootout, so they came out of the weekend with three points, which is three more than the Senators managed.

Neither team in going anywhere, but the Sens seem intent on going nowhere faster, having turned a nice winning streak into a three-game losing skid that pretty much assures them of joining the Leafs on the golf course in April.

You can read about the Leafs and the Sundin reunion here.

You can read abou the Leafs winning in New York here.

And you can read about the Sens here.

- - -

The minor midget AE Rangers beat Strathroy last night to win their OMHA quarter final in four games. Strathroy won the first game, Oakville swept the next three. Way to go guys.

- - -

In minor midget AA playdowns there's a bit of a tempest blowing from Saturday night. Caledon just needed a tie at home vs. Stoney Creek to advance to the semi finals. Problem is, Stoney Creek didn't bother showing up and the game wasn't played. I only know what's I've gleaned off various discussion forums, which indicate the Caledon team was there and ready to play and even one Stoney Creek player made the trip.

No one has offered up an explanation, or whether the game is a forfeit, or what.

It keeps things interesting, I guess.

- - -

I don't watch award shows, and in case you don't either here's a wrap on last night's Academy Awards.

- - -

Ever wish you knew what to do when your cell phone loses its charge and you don't have a charger nearby? Or what to do when you drop your cell phone in the toilet (or, in my case, fall off a dock with it)? Or what to do when your printer ink cartridge runs out of ink the middle of an important print job, like printing off directions to the place to buy your new ice-dance outfit?

You have questions, we have answers.

Actually, the New York Times has answers. And you can find low-tech solutions to high-tech problems here.

- - -

A former Canadian defence minister says the proof that there is life in the universe beyond Earth is irrefutable. Which doesn't surprise me, but it may surprise you. My thinking, ever since I was a kid, was basically that if there are billions of stars out there like the Sun, and they are circled by tens of billions of planets, it's either naive or arrogant to dismiss the possibility that life could exist somewhere else.

Now, whether that life is so advanced as to be able to travel billions of light years to spend March Break on Earth, or figure out what to do when you drop you phone in the toilet? That part I'm not nearly so sure about. If it was intelligent life, you'd have to think they would give Earth a big miss, and also be smart enough to not take their iPhone into the stall.

Anyway, it makes for interesting water cooler fodder while we anxiously wait for the next Leafs game.

You can read more here.

Feb 20, 2009

By all accounts, President Obama's trip was a big success, what with the meetings and smiles and waves and fawning coverage and yes, a pit stop at a Byward Market bakery to gets some cookies for his girls. I could have predicted that, because I've seen this movie before.

As much as the reporters on TV like to trip over each other and gush that Ottawa has never seen anything like it before, the fact is, it has.

I was a reporter in Ottawa in May 1990 when then-Soviet president Mikhail Gorbachev visited the capital and it was like the Beatles had showed up. With Gretzky. And the Pope.

Twice in a little more than a day Gorbachev took to the streets, walking among the people, shaking hands, talking through his ubiquitous translator, and exuding the sort of charisma you simply cannot fake. The folks loved him, swarming to be near him.

Even then Gorbachev was one of many engineering the end of Communist rule and the Cold War was all but over. And people knew it. He was greatness and history in person.

Obama clearly has the charisma. It will be interesting indeed to see if the chapters written in the history books about him will be as weighty as those written of Gorbachev, who like Obama, was deemed as the right man at the right time.

I think most people are hoping for nothing but the best, because I can't think of a politician anywhere, anytime upon whom there were higher expectations.

Yesterday, at least, he didn't disappoint. And among the thousands of places you can read about it is here.

- - -

Tomorrow is CBC's annual Hockey Day in Canada. Turn on your TV tomorrow around noon, go to CBC, there will be lots of hockey.

And on this point, an Alberta MP is trying to have the third Friday in February declared National Hockey Day. It wouldn't be a holiday, per se, -- think Flag Day for a comparative -- but she's not opposed to that idea either.

It seems like a nice idea. I'm guessing that if it ever did become a holiday, someone would rent a block of ice and I'd have to be at the rink at 5:30a tying skates. And loving it!

Read more here.

Leafs play Columbus tonight. I sure hope Oakville native Steve Mason gets the start, but he's been sick so maybe he'll sit for this one.

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How do your kids do in school?

We have no complaints on that front (usually). Laura has, after years of steely determination, instilled in both of them that school work comes first. Before hockey, before PS3, before pals, before TV, before everything. And to her credit, the system is almost automatic now and it generates results. We're not expecting the selection committee for Rhodes Scholarships to show up at the door with a case of Corona (if they did, I'd let them in) but things are OK.

I don't think it's a lot different in most homes, with varying degrees of success on either side of normal.

And as an aside, I credit Pad's rigourous hockey and dryland schedule (he goes to the gym on his own about three or four times a week) for a big part of whatever success with the books he enjoys. The hockey and lacrosse schedules create a routine around which, in his mind, everything else must fit.

So while we view homework as Job One, he sees it as hockey and training. And if he wants the time to train, practice and play, he has to manage the rest of his time to get the school work done (and done well).

And it works.

An Oakville dad I respect very much told me a story last summer about how one of his boys once stopped playing rep hockey for a year to focus on football. Everything was fine until football season ended. And then the structure and rigour of that level of training was gone and there . . .. was . . . a . . . lot . . . of . . . . free . . . . time. Which didn't necessarily get used constructively and things at school slid. He was back playing rep hockey the next year.

Anyway, I'm on a tangent here -- my real point was going to be about school and marks and kids and entitlement. As in, I read the course work, I'm entitled to an "A".

Um, not really. At least, not really according to US academics who are dealing with this sense of kids and academic entitlement.

And interesting read in the New York Times today on this matter. Add it to your weekend reading list.

You can find it here.

- - -

President Obama is coming to Ottawa today. Unless you live under a rock, I bet you knew that. Expect the all-news channels to be all-Obama, all the time. What will happen?

Um, probably not much.

These things are more about tone and style than substance. But our prime minister and their president will talk and smile and pose, and hopefully the plane load of bureaucrats with the president and our city-full of bureaucrats will take their cues from the discussions and slowly make the gears of international intergovernmental things work for us all.

Expect to see a lot of flags. Tons and tons of flags.

Feb 18, 2009

A-Rod -- Alex Rodriquez -- arguably one of the three or four greatest baseball players of his generation, admitted last week to using steroids for a period of time earlier in his career.

Yesterday, he held a news conference in Tampa at the Yankees' training camp to take questions and presumably, take his lumps.

I'm guessing he got way more lumps than he expected.

Mike Lupica, of the New York Daily News writes:

Last week, Rodriguez couldn't remember exactly what he was taking when he was with the Texas Rangers. Now it turns out he does remember: It was a drug known to him at the time as "Boli."

Last week, he didn't want to talk about where he got his drugs. Now he comes up with a "cousin" he doesn't want to name. A cousin who, he says, injected him twice a month across three baseball seasons.

Yeah. Facts and details are pesky lil' critters. Shut up and sit down A-Rod.

Just shut up and sit down.

Read more here.

- - -

Back on the ice for a moment:

People sometimes ask me why I hate the Ottawa Senators so much. I don't really know. I guess I'm just lucky.

Actually, there was a pervasive smugness about the team over the last four or five years that became grating. Plus, they were a great team until the playoffs started, then they choked. Plus, they have a couple or three guys who, like A-Rod, should just shut up and sit down.

People ask why don't I hate Montreal as much. They are bigger rivals to the Leafs, etc etc.

It's hard not to respect a team with a GM like Bob Gainey and a coach like Guy Carbonneau. They exude professionalism and class, and being a Leaf fan, I take those things where I can find them.

I also fundamentally believe that a strong team in Montreal is good for all of hockey; the franchise is one of four or five true cornerstones of the NHL and hockey everywhere for that matter. Toronto should be another one, but we continue to wait.

Anyway, a good team in Montreal is good for hockey. ~~No team in Ottawa would be great for hockey~~.

And that's why the current free fall in Hab country is so noteworthy. Once at or near the top of the standings, the Canadiens have won only three of their last 13 games. Moody star Alexei Kovalev has been sent home and told to stay away from the team.

If it looks like duck and walks like a duck, then it's a crisis.

All is not well in Montreal.

Read more here.

- - -

Oh yeah. The Leafs lost again last night.

You can read about that here.

- - -

MOHA has a new online scheduling and standings system. Generally, I'm a big fan and I think it's a big step in the right direction.

Going forward, it needs a feature that will automatically email a team official (or ideally, everyone on the team) when that team's schedule has been changed. I've heard complaints from both house league and rep teams about being blindsided by last-minute ice time changes and additions, but the issue is clearly bigger in rep, especially at this time of year.

Scheduling the rep teams' games and practices during the regular season must be hard enough -- tournaments have to be accounted for, dryland training, etc etc. But in the playdown/playoff season, I suspect it becomes a full-fledged nightmare. I have a lot of empathy for the person who does it and can only imagine her red wine bill. Making two dozen phone calls to two dozen teams to say the schedule has changed isn't practical for the scheduler.

The system needs a tweak, as the IT guys say. An automated alert system -- especially for weekends when people have a lot on their plates -- might be a good "ask" to put in front of the people at Sportsmanager. If that functionality already exists, it would be good to know (because I'm not aware of it.)

- - -

I post a lot of links here in the run of a month. I thought you might be interested to know which things I show you are the most popular by traffic.

1. Jennifer Anniston, almost naked except for a necktie, is the runaway leader. Weird. Who'd a thought?

2. The new cover of SI, featuring the swimsuit edition. Hmmm. A trend?

3. A NYT story on how to get by in New York on $500K a year.

4. A NYT story on how to decide when your kid is sick enough to stay home.

5. Finally -- the women check in -- Valentine's hotties for women. From the Daily Beast blog.

6. Hmm. Women again. Another Daily Beast item, a column on How, Exactly, Are Men Superior?

7. A Boston Herald story on the Texas girls basketball team than ran up a 100-0 win.

8. The Globe and Mail story on the Subway Boys' brush with death last Friday.

9. A NYT blog item on the ugly Michigan-Michigan State hockey game last month.

10. A story on why scientists think you should never blow your nose.

We're kind of all over the map here. But just FYI, the traffic on the first two items on the list is about double the total of this next three. You guys seem to know what you like.

- - -

Minor midget AA Rangers try to close out Milton tonight in game three of their Tri County quarter final. 9p, JC-Blue. Good seats still available.

I'll be the one yelling "shut up and sit down."

FYI sports fans, Ancaster leads Guelph five points to three in the other series on our side after a 5-2 win last night. First to six wins.

In other quarter finals, Georgetown swept Orangeville and Brampton is leading St. Kitts and also expected to sweep.

It's looking like Georgetown will play a semi final with Brampton.

If the Rangers advance they await either Ancaster or Guelph.

- - -

Speaking of sweeps in minor midget AA, Burlington swept Lasalle in three in OMHA playdown quarter finals, outscoring them 17-4.

The OMHA still hasn't posted a single score from the Caledon-Stoney Creek OMHA series, but my spies tell me Caledon leads the series 2-0.

Feb 17, 2009

Are you a reader?

In our house, Laura is the biggest reader of books by a long shot. Generally, she has at least two, sometimes three books in play. She's a part of a neighbourhood ~~wine-drinking sorority~~ book club that's been going for a decade, and she knows what she likes.

I'm more a consumer of information. I consume news and information voraciously, but at the end of the day I have little to no time left for what I'll call pleasure reading. I'd like to change that, but I don't see it changing anytime soon.

The boys are what you would expect for sports-obsessed boys. Pad is at best an indifferent reader, although when we do put something in front of him that we think (that we KNOW) he'll like, eventually, after poking it with a stick, covering it with PlayStation game boxes and empty pop cans, eventually he'll dive in and then he's away. Into the Wild is an example of such a book.

Chris likes to read before bed. He has a keen imagination and things that rev up that corner of his mind are best. But he also prefers staying up as late as he possibly can which means reading time can often be short.

I mention all this because of ~~a story I read~~ a story I consumed in the New York Times about the evolving role of the librarian in the multimedia age.

Not that they ever were just people to restock shelves and levy fines for late returns, but the role of the librarian in the multimedia universe has taken on new importance. There's a lot of information out there and a lot of it is bad.

For example, someone searching for information on the Ottawa Senators might land here and come away with the impression that the franchise has only a bare familiarity with hockey and is in danger of folding. In fact, the Sens won their 5th straight game last night and to them I say, Godspeed. One fewer team between the Leafs and a decent draft pick.

Anyway, the NYT piece is an interesting one for parents, I think.

You can find it here.

- - -

Like I said above, Ottawa won their 5th straight game. The good news for them is that they are now tied with Toronto, with a game in hand. The bad news is that they are still 12 points out of a playoff spot and one of the teams that they have to get past is Pittsburgh.

The Sens need about 43 points in their final 27 games. Or, a record of about 21-5-1 over that span. But five in a row is a good start.

Read more here.

- - -

The coach of Chris's team has asked the boys to stop shaving once the playoffs begin. The 12- and 13-year-olds engaging in a beard-growing contest may prove to be entertaining.

Monty Python had a skit years ago of a bunch of men sitting around grunting until clumps of hair started to sporatically sprout on their faces, but I couldn't find it anywhere online. So you'll have to take my word for it that it was entertaining.

You should laugh now.

- - -

Leafs host Buffalo tonight. Oh, great.

No hockey tonight in our house, so I'll be watching. For a while, anyway.

Feb 16, 2009

It's Family Day in Ontario -- it's not a statutory holiday in my world but I'm taking the day off anyway because the kids are home. If you are off too, I hope you find something fun to do. So far in this house, sleeping in seems to be the big activity.

- - -

I hate it when I'm right, but then again you didn't need to be Howie Meeker to know that the Penguins had to be getting to the end of their rope with coach Michel Therrien. The Pens are slipping further away from a playoff spot with every game and Saturday night's 6-2 lacing by Toronto was the final straw for last year's conference champions.

I have no inside knowledge obviously, but Therrien just seemed to me to be an awkward fit with the group of young stars in Pittsburgh.

They have an interim coach now as they look for a permanent solution.

You can read more here.

- - -

The minor midget Rangers dumped Milton 6-3 last night to take a 4-0 lead in that first-to-six-point series.

It was not an eventful evening. The Rangers led 6-1 with a couple of minutes left in the second period and inexplicitly Milton scored a pair of quick goals and had all the momentum going their way.

Early in the third a couple of their guys started up with the usual yapping and stupidity, their momentum melted away in a parade of penalties and the Rangers just played puck control hockey.

Game three at home on Wednesday night.

- - -

How much more useless can the OMHA web site be? Man it's frustrating. Anyone trying to get scores off the site would be better advised to stand outside and wait for the results to fall from the sky. There is simply nothing or very little posted.

- - -

Having said that, I can tell you that the minor midget AE Rangers won 3-0 in Strathroy yesterday to tie their quarter final OMHA series and two points each. I knew they'd be back.

- - -

I grew up in Nova Scotia so I know a little bit about the ocean. Like for example, it's really, really big.

So, with the vastness of the ocean in mind, one reels at the prospect that two submarines -- a British and a French nuclear-armed vessel -- could collide in the inky deeps, apparently one could surmise without room to navigate. Imagine a GO Transit parking lot that extends from Ajax west to Burlington, and north as far as Orangeville. And imagine there are only two cars in that parking lot. And imagine getting off the train to discover the other car drove into you.

That's the rough flavour of the stupidity here.

No one who has stripes and braids on his sleeve is yet prepared to offer an explanation as to how this happened.

But I can also tell you from my days as a reporter in Halifax that it is not entirely unusual for people in control of very expensive, taxpayer-funded assets to occasionally engage in wholly stupid activities and bad decision making.

You'll be hearing a whole lot more on this in the days ahead. In the meantime, read up on the marine fender-bender here.

- - -

I don't have a funny story to link to today or a deep read on something quirky.

But I'd encourage you to read this column, on the incident Friday where a lunatic pushed two teens in front of a train in a Toronto subway. I know the dad of one of the boys and it makes it all the more surreal. I met the kid once, years ago on a snowy Saturday afternoon in Ottawa at a kids' Christmas party on Parliament Hill. All I remember is that he was a massive Ottawa Senators fan, and I'm willing to let that slide today.

That the story ends happily and the boys all acted with bravery and composure well beyond their years is a miracle, especially if you let you mind wander to a dark place for moment to consider how a story about two teenagers under a subway train might have ended.

Again, you can find the story here.

Feb 15, 2009

I hope you all had a great Valentines Day if you celebrate that sort of thing.

The Oakville peewee red St. Hilda's Eagles got a nice shout out from Don Cherry during Hockey Night in Canada last night for their great working in raising money for cancer research while participating in the Mississauga St. Mike's Majors' Paint-The-Rink-Pink event on Friday.

Congrats to the whole team and Coach Nelson Pavao for a job very well done.

- - -

Does Pittsburgh still have a head coach? Man, I've been expecting that guy to get toasted for weeks, but after last night's pasting at the hands of the Leafs it is hard to fathom that change is not imminent. I guess we'll see.

More troubling, the Sens won again! Holy resurrections, Batman!

Read gleefully about the 6-2 pounding administered by the Leafs here.

Read about the Sens coming back from the dead here.

- - -

In Friday night action, the minor midget AA Rangers beat Milton 5-0. The game was generally unremarkable -- Milton stayed competitive for the first 10 minutes and then resorted to the sort of yappy, scrappy play that is typical of a team that went 2-25-1 in the regular season and has no chance without goading the other team into dumb penalties.

In the Rangers, they may well have found willing accomplices for this tactic as most nights it seems there is no team on Earth that the Rangers feel they cannot out yap.

In between the emerging stupidity the Rangers won.

Game two tonight in Milton.

- - -

The minor midget AE Rangers lost the opener of their OMHA quarter final 3-2 at home to Strathroy. I had to work on something all afternoon but I'm told it was a terrific game.

Game two today back in Strathroy.

- - -

Five different Gators lit up the score sheet Saturday as the Sunopta green machine beat the Eagles 5-1 in peewee white house league action. With one game left before the playoffs the Lumberjacks have clinched top spot -- congrats to all of them -- and we're sitting three points back in second.

The playoffs are going to be verrrry interesting.

- - -

From Friday's New York Times (I'm way behind on my reading) a story on a new electronic gear system for that most uniquely human-powered machine, the bicycle.

And if you think the traditionalists have their Spandex in a knot over this as they prance around wearing tight pants, ridiculous shirts and stiff shoes, um, you're right.

Because traditionalists -- and on some things, I am one of them -- will get uptight about almost anything that involves change.

The new system debuts this weekend at the Tour of California. Read more here.

- - -

OK, OK.

So I posted links to interesting images of Jennifer Anniston (again) and the new cover of the SI swimsuit edition.

OK, OK.

First, let me say that hands down, those two links are the most travelled links in this blogs history, so I stand guilty of knowing my readership.

But, OK, OK.

In the interest of gender fairness, an article that picks out what the author purports to be hotties for women readers to enjoy. I offer no warranty on the validity of this claim -- readers, as always, can draw their own conclusions.

And you can find the story -- with photos -- here.

Um, the list is more "interesting geek" than beefcake, but beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

Right? Right? That's my story and I'm sticking to it!

Feb 13, 2009

Winter is back.

Union Station is open again after the winter waterfall experience of early Thursday morning.

and now we have another Friday the 13th. And another next month. And another one later this year, in November. And we just had one in June.

Is it any wonder the economy sucks?

Maybe because there's so many Friday the 13th's this year they decided to do another movie, so the creep in the Ken Dryden hockey mask is back again, starting today.

Just FYI, it is a sign that you watch too much minor hockey if you stand up at the latest Friday the 13th movie and start yelling that Jason's hockey mask is not CSA approved and is non-compliant for use in an OMHA-sanctioned event.

For chainsaw murders and scaring women in lingerie, I'm sure it's fine.

- - -

Speaking of ugliness on the rink, the Leafs lost to Tampa last night. And the Senators won. And I had to go with Pad to a 9p practice. So, it was one of those nights for me.

You can read about the Leafs here, but honestly? I wouldn't bother.

- - -

Ugliness on the Ice, Vol 2: A Quebec court has awarded the family of a nine-year-old boy $44,000 in damages. The award is the result of a suit filed after the boy was hit with a wayward slapshot while skating recreationally on an outdoor municipal rink in La Plaine, Que.

There will be much "harumphing" about this story. The facts are complex. The boy wasn't wearing a helmet or shield, he was skating on a rink generally used for shinny, but . . .

Like I said, it's complicated. You can read the whole story here.

A couple of times a year we rent ice for skating parties and we've long since abandoned the hockey-at-one-end, skating-at-the-other pretense because, pucks and non-hockey skaters do not mix.

So, to involve the younger siblings and moms and sisters, we go with pure skating. We don't want the moms hurting people.

We also insist on helmets for everyone under 12; others skate at your own risk without one.

It's a great world we live in when you have to consider having friends sign a waiver before joining a skating party.

- - -

Mel Allen wouldn't like what This Week In Baseball is like. When ball fans like my dad are excited that pitchers and catchers have started working out, the real headlines around the sport are in court rooms, congressional hearings, and drug labs.

It's just sad.

Let's start with former Jay and reknowned door knob Robbie Alomar, who is being accused of carrying the virus that causes AIDS and knowingly putting others at risk. Fun! That story here.

Or what about the continuing saga of Alex (A-Rod) Rodriguez, aka A-Roid? Read more on his travails here.

Or what about Miguel Tejada, an all-star shortstop for the Astros, who pleaded guilty to lying to Congress? More on his great week here.

What a disgrace.

- - -

Let's step briefly inside the World o' Journalism right now.

On Monday night, when President Barack Obama presided over his first prime time presidential news conference, he did the classy and proper thing, calling upon 88-year-old Helen Thomas to ask the first question. The long-time UPI writer and current columnist for Hearst Newspapers wasn't buying any of the prez's polite smooth talk in calling upon her.

But it was a significant moment, nonetheless. Obama is the 10th president that Thomas has questioned at the White House going all the way back to Kennedy and I'm here to tell you, that's significant.

Just as interestingly, Obama called upon a reporter from a blog -- The Huffington Post -- to also ask a question. It may have been the first time a reporter for a blog has been asked to put forward a question at a presidential news conference.

Which, naturally, gets one to thinking that maybe I should drive to Washington and, on behalf of Teamoakville Nation, put forward the pressing questions of the day to the new president.

Like:

"Sir, what's up with the Leafs? Not the green things on the trees. The hockey team."

Maybe not.

But you can read more on Helen, Huffington and the prez here.

- - -

Charles Darwin would have celebrated his 200th birthday this week, had he not died in 1882. If he had survived to see 2009 he would, I'm sure, be blown away by DNA mapping and the inept Maple Leaf defence.

There's no denying the man made a big impact on science and the way humans view their place in the world. Opinions are still (ahem) evolving.

Read more here.

- - -

Speaking of collisions, disasters and events that portend grim things, the Leafs continue their Florida road trip tonight, playing Tampa.

I'm suggesting Tampa spot the Leafs a 5-0 lead and then we just go to the ugly part right away.

- - -

The minor midget AA Rangers open their Tri County quarter final with Milton tomorrow night at 8:30p at River Oaks B.

The teams will play every other night until someone wins the first-team-to-six-points series.

Feb 11, 2009

Sorry. I'm having trouble breathing today -- the room is still filled with smoke from the train wreck and explosion the Leafs' inflicted upon themselves last night in Florida. In case you had the good sense to miss the third period, our heroes blew a 4-1 lead then lost 5-4 in OT.

Oh well.

As Pad said, "The Leafs really suck."

Yes. Yes they do.

More here.

- - -

You know how popular that link was that I provided to Jennifer Anniston? The one with her wearing nothing but a neck tie?

Yeah, those were the days. It was a great photo, if you like that sort of thing. (I like that sort of thing a lot, personally.)

Anyway, because it's February and wet and bleak and dreary and none of us is getting any younger, something to distract you.

Yes, the 2009 Sports Illustrated swimsuit edition is out. And while I'm not entirely clear on when wearing a swimsuit became a sport, I am nonetheless four-square behind the promotion of this event.

In fact, I'd like to see it added to the summer AND winter Olympics, with beach volleyball as the warm up act.

If you'd like to see the new cover of SI with a very attractive and healthy woman wearing not much at all, well, by all means click here.

Yes, you're welcome.

PS -- if you're still pining for Jenn, click here.

Honestly. I could make you guys jump through flaming hoops if I wanted to. Fetch!

- - -

Not a lot of time today, but I'm not going to leave you without something to read. (You can leave your gratitude in 20s, piled in my mail box.)

First, a new study says you should never blow your nose when you have a cold.

Huh?

Read more here.

Second., if you're not sure when to let your kids stay home from school when they are sick, read this.

And finally, I posted a link on the weekend to a story on rich bankers in New York struggling to get by on $500,000 a year. If you haven't read it, you really need to. Perspective is everything. Click here.

I have to run to my house in the Hamptons now. Ta!

Feb 10, 2009

I would like to say that I have nothing to do with the $500-million class-action lawsuit being launched in Ontario against the parasites at Ticketmaster, although the launch of the suit is somewhat timely given my rant on this matter last week.

Sadly, I will be very surprised if the action ever does much in court. The dollar figures are good for headlines but don't mean a thing otherwise.

The best hope is that lawmakers -- Parliament, Congress -- take hard look at the way these guys do business and either take some steps to address it, or, replicate it and use the proceeds to pay off the national debt.

They don't make enough red-rubber noses and over-sized sponge shoes for the clowns at Ticketmaster. So I hope that a nuisance lawsuit will make them piss away money defending themselves. And of course, they'll increase prices to compensate for it.

You can read more on the action filed against Ticketmaster here.

- - -

Liberal Leader Michael Ignatieff is being touted as the uber-husband?

Help.

I'll not pass on judgment on the man's politics, but in the run up to Valentine's Day, he has smitten the heart of at least one scribbler.

Why?

For things like, over Christmas, he and his wife took turns reading a new translation of War and Peace. Out loud. To each other.

Oh. My. God. If this passes for romance, I'd better return those snow shoes I got Laura.

I think if I put forward such a recreational notion in my house, Laura would call 9-1-1.

Read more on what a lousy husband you are in comparison here. (For added impact, read it out loud to someone you love!)

- - -

My day started brilliantly, for this who like to keep track of my life.

It went downhill fairly fast, however, upon discovering that some manner of creature decided to use our Green Bin as an amusement park over night.

Let me assure you that dealing with something like that at 6:45a will make you seriously re-evaluate the need for breakfast.

- - -

For those of you who have stood in an elevator convinced that if you have to listen to the mechanized version of "Close To You" by The Carpenters one more time you'll climb a clock tower, some good news.

Muzak has filed for bankruptcy. Please, no bailout money.

Read more here.

- - -

Can't wait for spring training to start, but don't want to miss any hockey?

MLB.TV has a deal for you. Click here for more.

- - -

So, Alex (A-Roid) Rodriquez has admitted to using illegal substances while a member of the Texas Rangers in the 1990s. Which of course means he LIED about it previously when asked directly if he ever used performance enhancing drugs.

To his credit, he came clean. On the down side, he only came clean after his name appeared on a list of players caught.

That's what I call honor.

Would the last clean baseball player in America please turn out the lights before exiting what's left of the sport, please?

Read more on the latest lying superstar here. Charter members, all of them, of baseball's lost generation.

- - -

Leafs are in Florida to give Bryan McCabe more opportunities to make them look stupid.

Must-see TV.

Feb 9, 2009

Anyone notice how often I still type "2008" instead of "2009"?

Weird. I'd better get over that before it's 2010.

- - -

This, apparently, is the start of the Florida season. The time of year when the elderly and the like pack up their blue rinse and blue pills and travel to somewhere sunny. I'm told you can line up for the early-bird breakfast at 4:30a, get lunch at 10:30a, and the seniors-special dinners start serving at 3p, so you can be safely back locked in your room at 5p watching Matlock re-runs and ordering warm milk from room service.

Or so I'm told.

I start seeing traffic on the site from Florida at this time of year, so if you're driving south or even flying, take care, have fun.

Fort Myers has a wild night life. I hear on weekends they don't do last call until 8:30p. Crazy!

Having said all that, yeah. I would like to be in Florida!

- - -

The train wreck that is Sean Avery's hockey career is about to resume. The Dallas Stars officially put him on waivers yesterday now that the NHL has cleared him to return following his completion of counseling for being a chronic bonehead.

What it means is that the Stars want no part of Avery but there are a whole bunch of hoops they have to jump through. Avery still has an expensive contract but the timing will likely work out for him.

At first blush you might think that he'd be as welcome in the dressing room as an open barrel of weapons-grade plutonium, but I think you'd be wrong.

I think the fact is as the league approaches the trade deadline most playoff-bound teams -- with only a couple of exceptions -- will sacrifice locker room peace for someone who might contribute to a winning edge.

Enter Sean Avery.

Right now the most talked-about landing pad for him is the Rangers (New York, not Oakville) so we'll see if everything old is new again.

The Rangers have lost four in a row and something's gonna give there soon.

Pittsburgh is under performing, but I think they'll dump their coach. I can't see Avery and Crosby hitting it off.

To read some speculation on what's next for hockey's demented one, click here.

- - -

Speaking of Pittsburgh, wow. Did they ever get their butts handed to them yesterday by Detroit.

The Pens are only two points away from 8th spot, but something's just not right there.

Game over story here.

- - -

Still no word on when Pad's minor midget AA squad open their series with Milton. Two of the other three series start tonight and tomorrow.

- - -

The Grammy awards were last night. We almost never watch award shows -- the idea of rich people congratulating themselves for their own brilliance doesn't much appeal to me. Oddly enough, though, Laura asked to tune in the TV to the show (with the sound down) while we were cooking dinner last night.

We agreed Carrie Underwood has nice legs.

Anyway, I said that I thought the music industry is in such disarray right now that I couldn't think of a less relevant award show than the Grammy awards.

And then came word that one of the show's featured performers, R&B superstar Chris Brown, had to cancel his performance because he was busy being charged with uttering a criminal threat against someone. And then his girlfriend, Rihanna, also canceled her performance.

And then I decided I was really glad I didn't waste any of my weekend watching the freak show that passes for the music industry slap themselves on the back.

You can read about Brown and his happy day here.

And you can read about actual Grammy winners here.

And because I know you're wondering, no.

No, Walter Ostanek did NOT win a Grammy last night for best polka recording.

As I KNOW you know, Ostanek, a St. Catharine's legend, has been nominated in the polka category 22 times, and he won in 1992, 1993, and 1994.

Ostanek's rival -- Jimmy Sturr -- won last night.

Nothing like polka music in the room before a big game to make the kids . . . want to get out of the room as fast as they can.

You can read about Walter losing here.

Feb 8, 2009

I apologize to the neighbours. Yes, that really was Paradise By the Dashboard Lights you heard blasting from our house last night. Or, this morning.

Meatloaf (the singer, not the dish) turns up at all sorts of occasions in our house and has for years. And last night a circle of women formed in our living room and the loud ritual repeated itself.

Some in the house who were trying to sleep in anticipation of an early practice were less enamored of the proceedings than others, but it was an evening where common sense played only a cursory role.

It was an evening sponsored, apparently, by Corona and convened for the purpose of celebrating the aged.

The aged had a very good time indeed. The women folk move very well for people of their vintage.

Most entertaining! Thanks to all who participated..

- - -

The peewee white Sunopta Gators dropped a 3-2 decision yesterday in a terrific game with the Wings. Even though we've lost a couple recently I like what I see from our guys. Everyone makes the playoffs, and that's what all the kids are starting to think about now.

Is it February already?

- - -

The minor midget AA Rangers will be playing a quarter final Tri County match up with Milton, sometime relatively soon but when, we don't know for sure. I expect the games will be slotted any day for the best-of-five series. The winner will advance to the semi finals against the winner of the Ancaster-Guelph series. On the other side of the draw, Brampton gets St. Catherine's and Georgetown plays Orangeville.

- - -

The weather this weekend is balmy and spring like. We've lost the glacier from the driveway and where there once was more than two feet of snow out back, there's now less than a foot.

Chris is a keen observer of all things environmental, and the change in temperature wasn't lost on him as we loaded the car for hockey on Saturday.

"It smells like spring!" he said, with some enthusiasm and adding that he wanted the snow to all disappear.

I was curious what he meant. "What does spring smell like?"

He paused.

"It smells like . . . spring."

OK. Got it.

- - -

If you have any access to teenagers you will know from experience that they would generally rather be separated from food and water than to be without their cell phones.

Mobile phones are convenient and what not, but it's still a marvel of marketing to me that a multi-billion dollar industry was created to fill a void that I'm not sure really existed.

I managed to get through high school and I don't think I ever actually called home from the school once in three years. Try getting a kid today to go without a phone for a day and you might have child welfare people on your doorstep.

And the kicker is that for the most part, they don't talk on the phone. They text. The send dozens of SMS text messages from one phone to another. They do it almost non stop at times. I've even seen kids who can do this while the phone is concealed in a pocket -- so familiar are their fingers with the buttons and keystrokes, they don't even need to look at it.

I mention this only in the context of yesterday, when Pad was at BTNL working out and he called home looking for a drive.

"Pad actually called?" said Chris. "He actually made a telephone call? Wow."

- - -

The Leafs beat Montreal 5-2 last night, which came as a bit of a shock. I'd like to tell you I was a devoted fan glued to the TV but there were women dancing in my living room, so figure it out.

I did catch glimpses of the game and while it's always fun to beat Montreal in Montreal, I'm resigned to the fact that every two points the Leafs get now just means a worse placement in the draft lottery.

Montreal has been in a bit of a tailspin since the all-star break, so maybe the win is no big surprise.

Read more here.

- - -

Oh. The Super Bowl. Right.

Actually, for a game that looked for a while like it might be a blow out it was a very entertaining game. I think the 16 hours of pre-game programming or whatever amount it was may have been over the top, but since I spent almost six hours in rinks yesterday before 5p, I didn't have to suffer through much of it.

Springsteen blew the doors off the joint with his 13-minute half-time show. Great set.

Anyway, for once (actually, two years in a row now) the game lived up to its hype. If you can't find a Super Bowl recap story without me providing a link, you probably shouldn't be allowed to play on the Internet.

- - -

If you live in Canada, then you didn't get to see the TV ads which are as much of the culture of the Super Bowl as the game. As a public service, five of the best ads you didn't get to see. You're welcome.

From CareerBuilder.com:

From Pepsi:

From Hyundai:

From Doritos:

And finally, a promo for the NBC series Heroes (not sure what it's about but I love the John Elway cameo):

- - -

Given the selfless and relentless commitment to heavy-duty blogging I put in yesterday (I may have pulled a hammy but the doctors advise I should be OK) today's post will be shorter. You can read all the tripe from the weekend if you're really bored.

But first . . .

- - -

President Obama tried to be comedian-in-chief at a big fancy gathering on the weekend. From what I can tell, they should have offered the gig to Brent Butt. Read more on Obama's stand up here.

- - -

American culture is a funny thing. America loves a winner -- on its terms. They especially love the goofy, soft-focus Olympic glory heroes, the kids who give selflessly of themselves for nothing but a fistful of gold medals and several tens of millions of dollars in corporate marketing deals.

But once you touch the media machine, it owns your butt and it will choose whether to venerate or consume you.

This is a life lesson that Michael Phelps, Olympic hero of Beijing, is learning now that it has become apparent that swimming is not his only water sport.

Inhale deeply, and read here.

- - -

I have a talented wife, two older sisters, a great mom, a great mother in law, an accomplished sister in law, among many other female relatives and friends who have accomplished much in their lives.And it is my relentless suspicion that whenever men leave the room and they are among themselves, the sisterhood resumes a centuries-old conversation, roughly along the lines of, "how the hell did men ever get control over most of the planet?"

It's an age-old question with no easy answer. I heard the father of Arizona Cardinals' star Larry Fitzgerald acknowledge Sunday the role and importance of his late wife in shaping a champion. He said, he was the head coach in the family, but she was the "offensive co-ordinator. She called the plays." OK -- not exactly a Hallmark card, but it was Super Sunday and you get the idea.

For the rest of you who have wondered the same thing -- why are men always the president? why are men always the head of the United Nations? Why are men . . . you name it -- some required reading from a woman who asks the tough question.

I don't think she's nailed the answer, but her confusion over the question makes for entertaining reading, much better than contemplating ground-dwelling rodents and six more weeks of winter.

You can find her lament here. And in the meantime, Happy Ground Hog Day.

Feb 1, 2009 (11:20a edition)

The Leafs actually won on Doug Gilmour Night, beating Pittsburgh 5-4. The win leaves Toronto nine points out of a playoff spot and five points up on Ottawa (Ottawa has three games in hand.)

If you want to read about the Leafs winning, click here. The bigger story of course is the Pens losing. Last year's conference champs are in 10th place and not in a playoff spot -- yet. I expect they will 1. fire their coach 2. make the playoffs.

You can read more on that here.

- - -

The good news for the Pens is that this weekend, they could light Sidney Crosby's hair on fire and parade him through the streets dressed as a Christmas elf and no one would notice.

That's because Big Ben and the Steelers are in Tampa preparing to win another Super Bowl.

My knowledge of the NFL is best categorized under "glib and superficial" but I think I've paid just enough attention to get a grip on the Steelers being the favourites.

Arizona is on a great run with a quarterback only marginally younger than me.

I think their dream ends today.

- - -

Still with hockey, perhaps a bit of happy math and a prediction. The Ottawa Senators will not make the playoffs.

At this time of year I usually run the numbers on the Leafs and calculate how hot they would have to get to make the playoffs. I'm not going to bother this year -- they are not going to make it and even Stevie Wonder can see that.

But I did run the numbers for the Sens, and the good news is they ain't gonna make it either.

It will take -- almost exactly, based on previous years -- 95 points to make the eastern conference playoffs.

Ottawa now has 41 points, with 35 games left.

So, Ottawa needs 54 points of a possible 70 points left available to them, to reach 95.

Expressed another way, they need to win 27 of their remaining 35 games. That pace would be akin to a team winning 63 of 82 regular season games. And for all you record watchers out there, that has never happened (Detroit won 62 games in 1995-96, and they were actually a great team; we're talking about Ottawa here.)

So, I'm not sure if I've ever mentioned it but I don't care for the Sens. And while the Leafs will be sitting out the post-season for the 4th year in a row (which never happened even under Harold Ballard), so will Ottawa.

Leaf fans are a demented bunch and if we have to take comfort in the misery of others, well, we will.

- - -

All this winter weather puts me in mind of remembering when We Lived In Ottawa, BC. (Before Children.)

Laura was running a department in the newsroom of the Ottawa Citizen and I was a national correspondent on Parliament Hill, standing outside locked rooms waiting for old white men in suits to come lie to me about things we thought were important.

We lived in a lovely, rambling old house in a great Ottawa-Glebe neighbourhood about 300 feet from the Rideau Canal. The house used to be owned by Eugene Forsey, a senator and constitutional expert who has since passed away. (I met him a few times. He used to do an impersonation of Sir Robert Borden, which is a good way of telling if someone is really, really old. The cool thing was, even if the impersonation was wrong, who alive would know?)

Anyway, the house was a short walk or bike ride to the canal which, depending on the season would then link you to hundreds of kilometres of bike trails or skating on the canal.

We used to entertain a lot in those days, because as scary as this sounds, Laura and I were the closest things to adults in the group that formed on our doorstep. We called ourselves the Ottawa Orphans -- people not from Ottawa -- and on Thanksgiving and Christmas and Canada Day and Ground Hog Day and other high holidays we'd have these massive dinner parties that inevitably led to the furniture in the dining room being pushed waaaaay back and people dancing until all hours. Most of the crew was single or occasionally in a stage of divorce or reconciliation, so we were what passed for normal and more often than not, our house was a clubhouse of sorts for all the Orphans.

We made all manner of friends who have gone on to populate far corners of the world and are CEOs of newspapers, authors, journalists, lawyers, business executives, senior bureaucrats and respected business leaders.

Then? Well, it wasn't exactly Paris in the 1920s, but it was Ottawa in the early 1990s and we all worked very hard and we all relaxed just as hard. Those friends piled empty beer bottles in my basement and made it necessary to actually hose off the house the morning after Canada Day (from dye running out of red streamers in the rain.)

One of my favourite winter memories is of a particular sunny day Laura and I walked to the canal under blue skies and skated downtown to the Byward Market. We loaded up on Sunday papers, ate a late brunch, talked about the crazy people with kids who got up at 5a to go to rinks, and shopped a little.

On our way back to the canal for the skate home, we popped into a pub for a beer. Or two. Or more. Hours past.

Unbeknownst to us, the Ottawa weather changed and it started to snow.

Now, we could have taken a bus home, practically to our doorstep.

Or, we could have taken a cab.

But our decision-making faculties were almost as diminished as the weather, and we thought it would be a great idea to skate the several kilometres back up the canal in what was by now a snow storm.

Not since Laura ordered the bad lobster roll at that little cafe in St. Andrew's, NB, in 1988, has a worse decision been made.

Over-refreshed, under-dressed and totally ill-prepared we refused to turn back. The snow was practically horizontal and we were skating into the wind, not with it. No wonder the trip downtown has seemed so effortless, propelled as we were by a following gale that we barely noticed.

By the time we got home we both looked like snowmen. I think this is a low-level version of how people get in trouble on Mt. Everest.

Eventually we made it home and thawed out and if memory serves, things picked up more or less where we left off at the pub. I'm pretty sure someone said "some day we'll look back on this and laugh."

Apparently, today is that day.

- - -

I believe I have fulfilled my promise for a blog in two acts, so now I'm going to go work on a practice plan for the Gators at 4p.

Enjoy the Super Bowl. Pad as a 9:30p practice, perfectly timed to allow me to miss the end of the game.

Feb 1, 2009 (7:20a edition)

Today only, a blog in two acts.

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Into the stretch drive to spring. OK, so I'm being wildly optimistic and a bit early. But it's a new month, it's 7:20a, and I'm sitting in a rink.

You know those Father's Day cards you get with all the flowery words that your kids would never say to you in a million years? You earn them for days when you're at a rink at 7:20a so your kid can be timekeeper and earn like $16 in two hours. Maybe it would be easier for me to just give him $16 and stay in bed? Ah, but what life lesson is there to be learned from taking dad's cash and being well rested?

It's one thing to get up early to coach or watch your kid's game.

Watching your kid keep time? It's what dad's do.

- - -

OK, so now you're saying, "Dude. Get a life. It's two hours. Go home. Go to breakfast. Work on your ice-dance routine. You don't have to stay at the rink."

Actually, I do. First, I love watching novice hockey.

Second, loyal readers will know that both my sons are officials as well as players (Pad refs lacrosse). So as a father, I feel it's my job to stay to yell at the people who yell at the refs. And believe me, it comes as quite a shock to some leather-lunged tool screaming up his lunch at a house-league lacrosse ref over a missed loose-ball foul that A. the ref is 14, B. if he was capable of moving his 300 pound frame to a officials' clinic to become accredited as a ref he's welcome to try to do a better job, and C. oh by the way, the 14 year-old kid you're yelling at is my kid, so shut up. Seriously. Shut up. Now.

Pad really hates it when I stay to watch him ref.

And in the case of Chris (at the risk of sounding like Cliff Claven from the old Cheers TV series) it's a little-known fact that keeping time is a much more dangerous occupation than refereeing.

To wit:

An assistant basketball coach at St. Francis Xavier University in bucolic Antigonish, NS, has been suspended for at least four games for allegedly slapping an off-court official (timekeeper) in a game last Wednesday night vs. Cape Breton University. He may get much more.

You can read more on St.FX's policy of "slap the timekeeper" here and here.

- - -

The peewee white Sunopta Gators did something we don't often see from them on Saturday. First, they gave up a one-goal lead and were soon losing 2-1 to the Flyers. (That part's not new. Our team gives up more leads than any team in our loop.)

No, what they did different this week was they came from behind and won, 6-2. Usually once we give up the lead, you can get out the marmalade because we're toast. This week we scored five in a row (six if you count the one the ref missed!) and won.

Way to go, Gators.

The highlight of the day was picture day and the Gators and Flyers were blessed with being the first teams up, meaning everyone had to be dressed and ready at 8:30a for pictures before the 9a game.

Unfortunately, the people working for the company taking the photos didn't show up until just before 9a, so they wasted everyone's time on our teams, including mine (which I don't generally recommend). I'm going to send them an invoice.

The convener wasn't amused. The coaches were not amused. The parents -- the ones writing the cheques for the pictures and fridge magnates and other future garage-sale fodder hawked by this outfit -- were not amused.

So now our guys will get their photos done in March, which means they likely won't actually have their photos back until after hockey season.

I'm not sure how the photo day arrangement works. But maybe it can be tendered and offered to a firm that has clocks and wristwatches. (I won't even get into how many hours of my life I've lost as a convener chasing around after screwed up orders . . . )

- - -

Friday night Laura and the boys came downtown and we all met up for dinner and then went to Massey Hall to see Brent Butt, of Corner Gas fame, do standup comedy. For security reasons we don't generally all travel in a pack like that, so it was a rare all-four-of-us-out evening.

If there is a bigger Corner Gas fan in the world than Chris, I'd like to meet him. Chris loves the show, Pad is a fan too and when it's on your TV all the time, it grows on you.

Anyway, we had a great evening. Butt was good -- his bit on being a minor hockey goalie and not discovering until he was 15 that there is a special athletic cup for goalies was particularly funny. He basically said it was a coaches' conspiracy to keep this information from him.

Lots of fun. He even had them turn up the lights and he took questions from the audience for almost 30 minutes, which I found oddly Canadian. You can read a somewhat lukewarm review of his show here.

As an aside to the whole evening, Laura and the boys had to drive/walk through a rather large Tamil demonstration (which I understand kept some commuters from getting to their trains on Friday night).

Chris wanted to know what was up with that?

- - -

I'm watching a novice game here and I've started hoping for the team that doesn't have the loud mouth dad up here in the stands who thinks it's his mission to coach every shift from the stands.

It's novice house league. Cheer FOR the kids, don't INSTRUCT them. He offers helpful advice like: "SHOOT!" to the kid alone in front of the net with the puck. I'm sure that never occurred to boy.

My team is up two goals. He's gotten much quieter. (Update: My team won handily.)

- - -

An odd thing happens at Joshua Creek Arena when the sun comes up on a relatively clear day. One team actually has to play the game into the sun. The sun streams in the windows at the south end. Weird. And you have to take my word for it, because I'm here and you're not.

Kinda like the old joke about the Metrodome in Minneapolis. Legend is that it's so big that football teams flip a coin to see which one gets the air conditioning at their backs.

- - -

The minor midget Rangers lost 7-6 in Guelph yesterday afternoon. I missed it as I was ~~drinking beer at Boston Pizza~~ attending an important coaches/convener's meeting in advance of house league playoffs.

The Rangers led 3-0 -- yes, that's not a typo -- but penalty trouble was the undoing of the day and a game they should have won slipped away.

Ugh.

- - -

OK, that's it for the 7:20a edition. I'll be back for a matinee at 11:20a where I'll talk about the Leafs and other stuff that hasn't occurred to me yet.

Thanks for coming. I'm here all week. Try the veal!